I'll Probably Get Fired For This...

I'll Probably Get Fired For This...

Happy Labor Day Weekend!  I would first like to preface this with my extreme dedication to any job I have ever had.  Both of my parents are extrmely hard workers and in fact, here's a picture of my Daddy the Breadman circa 1980 something :)  And since you've made it THIS far I can tell you Guest Host next week is Bryan Callen and Comic of the Week is Steve White Steve Ain't White :)

In those days however, there were times I did the occasional fake being sick at a job I hated blah blah blah, we've all done it!  I'm not going to name any names in this post but I AM going to tell you some of the funny things that have happened to me over my years in the work force while sprinkling in some funny childhood photos :)  Here's my brother and I, Halloween or just a regular Tuesday night?  We really don't know.

My first job was at a private school uniform store where all my friends and I worked.  I still to this day, can probably tell what size your toddler is just by looking at them.  Nothing too exciting there, though I did vomit slimer-green something in the parking lot one day after a long night of "studying."  I was a teenager, give me a break.

I really started having fun at my second job, hostess at a restaurant chain.  I liked working there, was good at it.  Minus a bunch of gross, drunk dentists asking if we, a bunch of underage girls, had any adult toys and if so, could they use them us, no incidents to report.  I did however "borrow" a stack of lunch deal cards as well as the puncher (horrible though hilarious) and would pass out free lunches to friends at school, take my friends on a weekly basis etc etc.  They eventually caught on and I almost got in trouble, but as Ethan Hawke's character in Reality Bites states, the establishment owed me a Snickers. 

Let's skip ahead to my least favorite job, fitness instructor at a women's fitness center.  Have you ever worked at a job where you are obviously smarter than your boss?  IT SUCKS.  I was micro-managed to the core and any idea to make the place better was immediately shot down.  I stopped caring, started smoking weed in the bathroom and sleeping under the desk while complaining of cramps.  Some of the ladies were really mean so it didn't bother me at all to completely ignore them while they got their fitness on.  There were however, a lot of really great women who I thoroughly enjoyed talking to, and it was fulfilling to hear their stories and watch their bodies transform from fat to fit!  I often think about them and hope they are doing well.

Wow, that was a really long time ago!  Let's see...what other jobs have I had....ah yes.  Receptionist at a doctor's office which I LOVED, teacher at a daycare with a bunch of absolutely adorable squishy-faced babies that I still miss soooo much. A random job was a Chrismtas Elf at one of those mall-train things.  It was a favor to a patient at the doctor's office, I agreed to do it along with her daughter who turned out to be a jealous lesbian later that night when I tried to leave to go hang out with a boy.  Also a sample girl at Walmart one day as a favor to my father the Breadman, buttering, jellying and toasting bread all day paid pretty well.  Ooh!  I was a model for an artist at one point, that was pretty cool.

I know I've spilled the beans a little bit here, but it's the truth and that's what comedy is all about!  I've always been an extremely hard worker and if I care about something, will fight life and limb to make to work.  Liking what you do is SO important to your quality of life.  If you wake up every single day to a job you despise then your life is miserable.  Find something you love and be happy!  My best job yet?  Duh, 24/7 Comedy!  I hope everyone has a great Labor Day weekend, celebrate responsibly and remember, if you're having a hard day at work we're always there for you.  <3 - Q


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